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You know you're a greenhorn/shoemaker when...

Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:49 pm

Since the topic "You know you're a chef when..." has brought us all great amusement, I figured it was only fitting to have a topic on the other side of the spectrum. What are some of the greenest things you've seen/done or said/heard?

- Jokes about the staff meal are lost on you.
- You're referred to as "This/That fucking guy".
- Your co-workers scoff when they see you head for the med-kit.
- You periodically have to stop and clean the flat top or stove because you haven't mastered the saute pan.
- You look at your knuckles after taking something from under the broiler to see if you still have hair there.
- You think you are helping your chef by pointing out that spoon bain's and side towels are health code violations...
- ..But you still put raw chicken above other product because you're in a rush to put away the order.
- Your chef whispers "Work clean, god damn it." into your ear as he passes by.
- Your sous chef delegates something to you and your chef reassigns it immediately.
- You use the wrong knife for the job.
- You get your tail whipped by kitchen appliances; blenders, mandolines, can openers...

Re: You know you're a greenhorn/shoemaker when...

Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:52 am

We had a guy who when he was asked, "Do you know how to make hollandaise?" replied, "Yup!" and dropped a saute pan, waited until it was smoking, dumped in his yolks, and started whisking furiously. :shock: It's now a running joke in our kitchen. (He didn't last too long.)

Re: You know you're a greenhorn/shoemaker when...

Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:26 am

I was once in a walk in cooler when a cook stepped past carrying a bunch of produce. He bumped a bucket of scrap for stock and it all fell to the floor. Not missing a beat, he looked at me said,"Someone is going to have to clean that up." Then he walked out the walk in the door.

More in the vein of the thread...
-You think the five mother sauces include ketchup and gravy.
-You serve food you haven't tasted.
-You think prep for your infrequently served items is a hassle; after all, you only serve a few a night.
-When you make a mistake, it's never your fault.
-You're the last in and the first out.
-You complain about working weekends or holidays.

Re: You know you're a greenhorn/shoemaker when...

Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:25 pm

You've washed your hands with gloves on. You feel french onion broth is an adequate substitute for aujous. when a recipe calls for sugar salt will do just fine. You cant work on cut work because a ticket with one item came in. Its more important to hit on the server than give her what shes asking for, especially while whatever you're cooking proceeds to get more and more burnt. 2 minutes actually means oh shit I gotta start that. The floor is just a giant garbage can and it'd be nice if someone swept it by now. You dont even know where the brooms are. If someone gives you a broom you proceed to sweep everything under the coolers. If a caesar salad asks for anchovies, they actually mean anchovie paste... I could go on for days
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